Last week I posted this:
I've decided that I'm going to gauge how excited I am about meeting someone (a dude someone) by my relative excitement (and subsequent follow-through) in grooming my nether regions. Right now my excitement level is hovering around a 1, with a strong leaning toward 0.
A couple of you were like, NO. DO NOT GIVE UP!
Actually, I think one of you compared your genitals to a small woodland animal, but that is neither here nor there. Or over there. It's not really anywhere. But I digress.
All that to say, there's not caring about your appearance, and then there's the slippery slope into clogs and cats and eye fucking twenty year olds at the bar shortly before going home, drinking a bottle of wine, then going on a midnight cleaning binge (for all that cat hair), and having an unfortunate accident involving the fridge and your now lifeless body which no one will find for two weeks because you don't go out all that much anymore anyway.
So, even though my enthusiasm level for dating still hovers at around a 1 (on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being, "I enjoy sleeping in the middle of the bed FOREVER, thanks," and 10 being, "OMG I HAVE A LADY BONER FOR WEDDINGZ."), I suppose I am slightly more enthusiastic about taking care of myself.
And when I say "myself" I totally mean my cooch.
Boom. Always Be Grooming, folks. Always Be Grooming.