This is a new series wherein I chronicle life lessons I should have learned a long time ago but didn't. So now I'm writing them, for the public, in order to increase my chances of not forgetting this time, dammit.
They are written as though I am talking to myself, well, because I am.
Last night you did Improv for the first time in years.
You were the monologist for an Armando, and you did pretty good at that. You can probably tell a hilariously awkward story from your childhood at any given moment on stage or off, and it'll go over well.
But then there was an "open play" at the end where anyone could come up and play a few scenes.
You didn't do as well as you'd have liked.
You broke the rules (and not in a good, "know 'em and break 'em anyway" type of way), and you didn't "give" enough to the people on stage. You didn't listen well. You came into the scene with an agenda and wouldn't let it go even when the scene changed.
It was frustrating, mostly because it didn't feel right, like it used to. It wasn't natural. And it wasn't funny or true.
You were rusty. Really, really rusty.
It's like when you sit down at the piano and try to pick up where you left off in that Beethoven Sonata years ago. You know what should come next, what it should sound like, how you should react and respond to the notes...
...but your fingers lag seconds behind your brain. They lack a deftness of touch. Soft is too soft, loud is too loud. There's no dexterity or finesse. Beethoven rolls over in his grave and vomits.
And I say all this not to urge you to PRACTICE HARDER, DO BETTER, YOU'RE SUCH A FAILURE (though, to be honest, that is your first line of thought), but to remind you that it's the nature of the beast. It's just not possible to keep up focused, regular practice on EVERYTHING.
Unless, that is, you want to go insane.
And let's face it, you carry around a little too much crazy as it is.
Relax, breathe, it's okay. You don't have to be the best at everything all the time.
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Life Lesson #1-3 Coats of Primer
Life Lesson #2-Things You Can't Fix
Life Lesson #3-We've All Got Our Junk